Raveyard returned for Halloween this year, but this time I wasn't a zombie...

As revellers arrived they were informed that they had just passed away and would meet St Peter who would make the final judgement call on where they were to be sent for their afterlife. Hell was the place to be, with a programme of appropriately loud and sinful music. Purgatory was an endless queue filled with so much smoke you couldn't see your feet, let alone an escape route.

Representing Heaven as Gwendolyn, a lovely old lady who died peacefully in her sleep some time ago, I was joined by Petunia and Esmerelda who were in the same age bracket. Surrounded by deck chairs and clouds, and Kate Bush's 'Wuthering Heights' on repeat, we welcomed in the newly dead with open arms and a plate of Custard Creams (which we'd made ourselves only that morning!) Some of them did not, sadly, adhere to the strict scent code, and were plastered in the fancy Lidl perfume 'Suddenly Madame Glamour'. We all had a wonderful time regaling them with tales of our misspent/uneventful youth, though many of them did seem rather keen to leave. Unfortunately no one stayed for the recorder recital or the lecture on the way of God. What a shame! The youth are so fickle these days *sigh*.